I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
