sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
