my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
thus making me awesome and them whores
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
