Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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