the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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