So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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