After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
