closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
