it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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