i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
