he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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