i think my tv is drunk
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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