Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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