Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
