There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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