Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
