sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
