you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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