Do you still have your period?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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