I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize