He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
