I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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