looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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