Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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