There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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