was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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