What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
