Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I could fuck to npr.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
