I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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