Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
