just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
