I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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