i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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