Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
