i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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