thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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