I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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