I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
