so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Randomize
