we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I love you.
Bad choice
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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