I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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