I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
