never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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