so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
