so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
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All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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