Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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