I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm at about main and main street
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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