i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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