Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
