ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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