Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
