My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize