i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
