I just saw a hot homeless man
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
