too bad you live with your parents still
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
