i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
