So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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