We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
