Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
