I will die if light touches me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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