Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
